The Pixie and The Lamb, Best Of Friends
by NonsenseScribbler
Summary: Summary: The popular copy-n-paste "best friends". A normal bestfriend would comfort Bella if someone rejected her. Alice, would walk up to that guy and ask him if it's because he's gay.
1. Seven days

**This is just something I thought about while I read the copy and pasties you people put on your profile.**

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FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

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*** I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT*  
**

**Bella's POV**

That was it. It's over. He didn't want me anymore. He got bored and went off with Jessica, the head cheerleader who dances like a robot who wears a skirt that could barely cover up that big pile of fat the she calls an 'ass'.

"It' over!" I cried out.

"Don't worry, Bella. He won't get away that easily." Alice, my bestfriend declared while an evil grin played across her tiny face.

"B-but..." I stuttered. Talking while crying isn't that easy.

"B-but?" Alice repeated mockingly. "Hand me the phone." she demanded.

"Here." I handed the wireless phone which was barely used this week. Jake hadn't called me at all this week. The answer as to why he hasn't was given a while ago, by the lockers in school.

_**Flashback**_

"Yo, Bella!" Jacob called out as he spotted me by my locker getting ready for the next period.

"Hi, Jake." I greeted back sweetly. My voice filled with love.

"Listen, um...I think....I-I think th-that.." He started, looking a bit nervous.

"What is it, Jake?"

"I can't do this anymore. I think it's time we split."

It took a while before what he said registered into my brain. Then Jake's words had finally entered the building.

"Wh-wh-why?!" I shrieked. What had I done wrong?! I showed up with a towel and a bottle of water after his practices. I let him copy my homework. I made sure he always had his lunch. I gave him daily doses of kisses.

"Where did I go wrong?!" I demanded. I was confused...and pissed off.

"Well, it's just that....you act like my mother! Not that I don't appreciate the "love" you give me," He said love while doing air quotes. Huh. Guess it really is over for us.

" You make sure I'm always clean! 'Jacob, don't forget this. Don't forget that. Have you studied already?'" He was mocking me. Oh, I was sooo pissed now.

"And," A voice continued. "_He's _with _me_." A dying cat! A dying cat! Where did it come from?

Jessica Stanley.

I was speechless.

"Sorry Bella." Jake said while heading towards the cafeteria with his new pet cat- er, girlfriend. He didn't even look back. He just waved his hand. Did he just wave me off?!

"_No one, _waves you off, Bella." Alice glared at their backs.

"When did_ you _get _here_?" I asked sourly, trying my best not to break down and cry in the hallway. I was very pissed and I felt horrible for using that kind of tone on Alice. She was my sister, mom, bestfriend and other half. Not in a lesbo way. More of a 'I have your back and you have mine' way. We were like Spongebob and Patrick. We were like a kid and his blanket in the middle of a stormy night. I was always the kid and she was always the blanket.

She pulled out two packages from a paper bag.

"What's that?" I asked.

She didn't answer me. Instead, she opened the package which revealed a whole pie. She handed it to me and I took it. I stared at it as she opened the other package which revealed several cupcakes with loads of icing.

Next thing you know, Jake was like "Oh shit, run." and the dying cat was once again heard.

_**End of flashback. **_

I giggled a little at that memory as I watched Alice dial Jake's number.

"Oh, yes. Good evening Mrs. Black! I was just wondering if I could speak with Jacob? He's my lab partner and I have to give him a few notes for tomorrow." She said sweetly as she put the phone on loudspeaker.

"Hello?" Jake asked. Alice just breathed heavily into the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?" Jake demaned. Once again, Alice breathed heavily and whispered "haaaaaaaa" softly.

"Wh-who is this? I'm gonna call the police!"

"Seven days, Jacob Black. Seven days..."

"Huh?"

"Little Taylor also had seven days a few weeks ago. He didn't listen to me." She said evily which sounded a little bit seductive.

"His mommy and daddy were very upset seeing poor little Taylor hanged in his cabinet."

"Seven days....." and with that, she hung up on him. Alice put the phone back and sat on the bed. We just stared at each other in silence.

**Charlie's POV**

Watching the game...closer to the basket, 3 points please. 3 points!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was startled as the silence was gone from Alice's and Bella's laughter coming from upstairs.

"THAT WAS HILARIOUS!" Alice exclaimed.

"SEVEN DAYS! HAHAHA!!! SEVEN DAYS!" Bella laughed out.

Guess the girls are having fun.

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**So, what'd you think? I'll be making more chapters. Don't worry, this isn't a oneshot. :) Oh, please review. **


	2. Pool Party

**Let's go! Let's go! Chapter 2! Hope you guys are enjoying the story!**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

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FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS:Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

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**Bella's POV**

"Hurry up Bella! We're gonna be late for the party!" Alice yelled through my bathroom door. We were heading to my cousin Rosalie's house. It was her birthday and she invited almost the whole school over at her house for a pool party.

"Shut your yapping Alice! It's not my fault the stupid tampon won't cooperate with me!" I was having my period today. Boy, did it have bad timing.

"Oh sure, let's blame the tampon!" She said with sarcasm.

"That's what we're already doing!" I retorted.

"Aaarrrgh!" She was being pissy.

"Gaaaaah!" I said in frustration.

"You better hurry up or I'm running this door down and be gladly shoving that tampon up your ass." She threatened.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I said quickly while unlocking the door. I went out and saw Alice by the mirror putting on a mini dress and shorts over her yellow bikini.

"How do I look?" She asked.

"Perfect, _as usual_." I sighed. Alice was prettier than me. Rosalie was prettier than me. The dying cat- er, even Jessica was a little bit prettier than me! No one has to call me ugly. I can do it myself.

"Come on, Bella!" She comforted me as she saw my expression. "You're gorgeous! How'd you get Jake in the first place?_ And_, I saw Edward Cullen looking at you yesterday during lunch." She announced hoping that I'd recover.

"Edward Cullen? EDWARD CULLEN?!" Edward Cullen was the hottest guy in school. Well, he _is _new at school. He transferred 2 weeks after Jake went off with the cat.

"I, Mary Alice Brandon, declare that Edward Cullen, a new student, was checking you, Isabella Marie Swan, out." I was giggling as I felt myself blushing.

"Heehee," I giggled. "O-okay."

Alice smirked at me, seeing as she was triumphant at making me feel better about myself, and grabbed my hand, pulling me down the stairs.

"Let's go!" She shouted.

"'Kay." I said still giggling a little dazed. I was lovestruck.

_**At the Party**_

"Bella! Alice!" Rose greeted us excitedly, making her way to us.

"Rose!" Me and Alice greeted back in unison as we hugged her on each side.

"I missed you guys." She sighed, us still embracing.

"Me too." I said

"Who wouldn't miss_ you_?" Alice said.

"I know, right!" Rose said back. I left them giggling away, making my way to the pool. I eyed many cute guys but only 2 out of 5 looked back at me and smiled. Who were they? Edward Cullen and Mike Newton. Mike Newton was kinda cute with his baby face. But he's currently dating. Dating the 7th girl. I'm not taking any chances on that road. Edward Cullen, he has the looks, perfect green eyes and bronze messy hair. I called it sex hair. He has brains too, I know, he's my bio lab partner. I was smart like 93% he was like 98% but his hotness will always be 100%.

Criteria:

Hair- 10%

Eyes- 15%

Body- 10%

Brains- 25%

Ass-20%

Voice- 20%

Every girl loves a guy with a cute ass. Don't you? I was sitting by the pool talking to Lauren Mallory. She was kinda nice....who was I kidding?! All she talked about was Rosalie! How she would make a great bestfriend. How perfect her hair was. How she was super smart and popular. Rosalie this, Rosalie that...

"We're gonna be bestfriends Bella!" Lauren announced. Her smile was freaking me out. She looked away and muttered "Me and Rosalie will be bestfriends too." She thought that I didn't hear that?

"Hm?" I asked, faking wonder.

"Oh, nothing!" She said trying to act innocent. "I'll go get us some drinks!" She was way perky.

"I'll help you." I suggested as I stood up.

"Oh no-wee no no-no! You stay here Belly-welly! You shouldn't get tired." She suggested too, trying so hard to leave me and get to talk to Rosalie.

"No, I insis- Gah!" I was surprised to see Alice running towards me. She threw a tampon at my face and pushed me into the pool. The water was cold.

"ALICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I shrieked.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She burst out laughing and soon everyone joined in. As soon she heard the crowd joining in, she stopped and shouted "SHUT UP! Only I get to laugh at her!" She demanded. Everyone was quiet as they went back to what they were doing before my little stunt happened.

"Oh, Bella. Are you okay?" Edward Cullen. He came to me with a towel in hand as I got out of the pool. _He_ was worried about me.

"Oh, yeah, sure." I said while blushing. He handed me a towel and I muttered a "Thanks" to him.

"Sure, no problem." He said. I walked passed him. Immediately regretting that, I said "Thanks, Edward" again. I looked around spotting Rose and Alice on a couch chatting animatedly. They seem to be having fun, guess I better rain on their parade now. I walked up to them looking pissed.

"You knew I had my period today."

"Uhuh." was all Alice said.

"You pushed me in the pool."

"Yep."

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"I know."

"I got Lauren off my back and Edward handed me a towel!"

"I know." She repeated.

"I love you soooo much!"

"I know." This time, she repeated it with pride.

Best friend ever.

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**So? Crappy? Funny? You hafta tell me! How? Through a review of course. Or else, "Seven days....." Joke. xD**


	3. Here's A Tissue, Alice

**Here's Chapter 3 :) Sorry if you waited too long. I'm really busy with training. I've been training on my own too. Every night, all alone in my room. Doing push-ups and practice pitching. **

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

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FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

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**Alice's POV**

"But I could've brought _that one_ on my date with Jasper!" I complained. Bella was returning my favorite bag only NOW. My first date with Jasper was 2 weeks ago and I went with my blue Gucci bag. Bella borrowed the green one. Apparently, green was now her favorite color. Thanks to Edward Cullen's green eyes, that is.

"I thought you said that the date was perfect?!" She exclaimed.

"It could've been more perfect if I took the _green Prada_ bag!"

"Oh, so what was the night 2 weeks ago when you called me up on my cel at 3 in the morning?!" Bella was referring to the night when I woke her up at an ungodly hour to tell her I couldn't sleep because I got the 'after date' sickness. Yes, there is such an illness wherein one female can't sleep 'cause JASPER was so dreamy. With his golden curls and angel face. He was perfect.

"I told you!" I reminded her.

"Oh Bella, I have the 'after date' sickness! What am I gonna do?! Jasper this...Jasper that..." She said, doing a pretty good job on making her voice sound like mine.

"See? Didn't you have it when you first went out with Jake?"

"No."

"Oh......this is a sign! That me and Jaspy are gonna be together forever!" I gushed but I tried to hide my giddyness quickly seeing Bella's face making friends with a frown.

"No, Alice. It's okay. I don't wanna ruin your moment."

"Sorry." I apologized.

"Jaspy?" She teased with a smirk, recovering. "I'm sorry Alice, but as much as I approve of you being together with Jasper, even I wouldn't call Edward, 'Eddie'." I ignored that comment and reminded her that the Prada-Gucci issue wasn't over just yet.

"Isabella Marie Swan." I started.

"Yes, your hiney?" She said.

"Quit talking to my ass and take this seriously!" I complained.

"Take what seriously? You calling Jasper, Jaspy?"

"No! Well yeah, but....! The baaaag." I whined.

"It's just a bag, Alice."

"It's not just a bag! It was my green Prada bag!"

"What was wrong with the blue one?!"

"I wore a black dress!"

"Black goes with any color!"

"But it goes better with green rather than blue!"

"Oh my bad," She said but it didn't sound like she meant it, nor was I winning. "Here's a tissue" she said smirking, handing me a packet and taking off towards the kitchen.

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**Yeah I know, it's short. :) At least 5-10 reviews? **


	4. Beat Him Up

**Chapter 4 :) SORRY FOR THE DAMNED DELAY, GUYS!**

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

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Friends: Will help you stop crying

Best friends: Will have a shovel to bury the loser who made you cry

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**Bella's POV**  
Its already been 20 minutes of Spanish class and still, no Alice. This never happens unless...

**Alice's POV**

I know, I know. I'm supposed to be in my Spanish class right? Well, right now, I'm with Rosalie-- Bella's cousin, and Tanya, the girl who's considered as "one of the boys". She'd shoot any loser who'd make Bella cry. Tanya never crushed on boys. Except for one though. In the 5th grade. Well, two actually. Felix and Demetri. After realizing that crushing on two boys at the same time may be considered as "cheating on them", she gave up and started studying. Which is why she is now a smart bitch. Points for Tanya? Nah. You should see her pissed off. It'll have you commit suicide.

We made our way from at the back of the bleachers and towards the football field where the football club had a whole day practice.

Operation: "Dead Wet Dog"

1. Have Tanya come over to school.

2. Sneak out with Rosalie by when Spanish class starts and meet up with Tanya by the bleachers.

3. Beat Jacob Black up.

"When do I get to kick him in the balls?" Tanya asked, looking excited.

"The time will come, young one." Rosalie joked.

"Psh."

"Okay, men," I started. "Our plan is to tackle Jacob Black."

"Why can't we just bury him alive?" Tanya suggested. Rosalie just nodded but you could see the excitement in her eyes.

"Why let the shovel have the fun?" I asked. They looked thoughtful for a while and started nodding in agreement.

"But, what if the whole football team starts beating _us_ up?" Rosalie asked, earning a slap from Tanya.

"Bad Rosalie," she scolded. "Men fear the sight of us. The sight of our high heels, and they fear us especially when we're having our period." She finished. "Who's the young one now?"

"Fine, fine." Rosalie gave up.

"This is why we wear revealing clothes." I explained.

"Revealing fighting clothes." Tanya corrected.

"It doesn't matter, we still look hot." Rosalie announced.

**Tanya's POV**

Jacob Black.

Death.

Perfection.

Cue evil laugh here. I sighed mentally as we walked towards the football team. It won't be much fun since we're only beating up one guy. I mean, come on! We could beat up the whole team in 20 minutes! But they didn't do anything to little Bella though. Yes, yes. Jacob Black. Must kick his ass.

We got there and received looks that were either, confusion, lust, and of course, excitement.

"Hey there, boys." Alice greeted. Sickly sweet. Few guys were kinda freaked out. "Is your team captain here?"

"Yep! He's available too!" Shouted who I think was Jacob Black.

"Can I pretty please borrow that football?" I asked sweetly, taking two steps forward.

"Sure, anything for you, pretty lady." He winked.

"Thanks." I said with a smirk. I took a step back and threw the ball right at his hotdog.

"Mooooooooommy!" He shrieked, falling down the grass.

"The whole team laughed and applauded. But started running away when Rose, Alice, and I started kicking him. Kicking him like dirt. 'Cause that's what he is.

**Bella's POV**

I made it just in time after asking permission from the teacher to go the bathroom. I caught the sight of strawberry blond hair moving about in the field. As I came closer, I was able to figure out who it was, "TANYA?!" I shrieked. I was so surprised yet so confused and yet, so excited to see her all at the same time.

"Little Bella!" She greeted as she made her way towards me, opening her arms out for an embrace. I hugged back and scolded, "I told you not to call me that!"

"And yet, I never listen." She said proudly.

"I know."

Silence.

"Watcha doin?" I asked like a little child.

"Oh!" Tanya said. "We're beating up Jacob Black!" She said enthusiastically.

"Oh okay. Have fun." I bid goodbye. They weren't doing anything wrong. Why ruin their fun? Little children should go around and explore. You know, play and stuff. Oh yeah, and beat Jacob Black up too.


End file.
